‘Anyone want a go’: Filmed Sexual Violence and Male Bonding

Violence against women takes on the form of a bonding ritual amongst groups of men who put what they have viewed in pornography into practice.

Guest post by Dr Em

Originally published at Uncommon Ground Media


A court has heard how Footballer Mike Emery raped a sleeping woman twice in one night and sent naked photos of her to his teammates asking them: “Anyone want a go?” Emery sent these photos of his alleged rape victim with a laughing emoji ‘to two WhatsApp group chats, comprising 70’ men. They did not go to the police, or call for help, instead, one man responded 'Show us her gash', to which ‘Emery allegedly sent a photograph showing the woman's vaginal area’. Emery’s victim only found out about the intimate photos of her he had shared with all of these men after Warrington Rylands club chairman Mark Pye informed her. A jury found Emery not guilty, because, one presumes, this is seemingly normal behaviour. Indeed, it is happening frequently. A different footballer and a different rape made the headlines again in 2024 as the former Man City and Real Madrid player Robinho was ordered to be jailed in his home country after he was found guilty of taking part in the gang rape of an Albanian woman celebrating her 23rd birthday at a Milan nightclub. A court in Milan had stated that Robinho had acted with "special contempt for the victim, who was brutally humiliated”.

Women and girls have been so dehumanised by our culture as to become sexual objects to be filmed and loaned out by induvial men. Women are shared by them with other men to bond over sexual violence and domination. Analysis has shown that that in 2023, almost all users in the UK for example - 88% - used smartphones to consume Pornhub content. This is up from 77 percent recorded in 2021. Smart phones aren’t just where men and boys are accessing pornography but they are using them to become their own pornographers and record sexual violence against women and girls, crimes against us.

In January 2024 the last man in a rape-ring was jailed in Singapore for raping a man’s wife who had been drugged and offered to other men so the husband could film them sexually abusing her. In 2020 she discovered images of the rapes on her husband’s smart phone. ‘The men involved had met each other online, largely on Sammyboy Forum, to discuss wife-sharing fantasies before turning them into reality’. Another horrific example emerged in June 2023 of a French man, Dominique P, who had also asked ‘anyone want a go’ and between 51 and 83 men had responded and then proceeded to rape his drugged wife while he filmed them. Like the forum in Singapore, raping one’s wife/girlfriend/date is so popular with some men that there is a chat room ‘called "A son insu" ("Without her knowing"). On this forum, which is still active to this day, many men exchange information on sexual encounters they manage to have without the knowledge of their partners, which, according to the penal code, is rape.’ Seemingly, the sexual use of a wife’s body by other men is a form of entertainment for some men, for example, on the 16th of May 2024 the search term ‘Share Wife’ brought up 23,338 videos on Pornhub in under a second. In 1980 the feminist Robin Morgan outlined how ‘pornography is the theory, rape is the practice’.

For many men and boys porn has dehumanised the act of sex to just ‘having a go’ on a woman’s body. This is particularly stark in rape cases. In 2023 in Victoria Embankment Gardens an 18-year-old woman who had become separated from her two friends when the group were refused entry to Charing Cross superclub Heaven was raped twice when after the first rape, ‘a homeless guy said: 'Can I have a go next?' and the other man replied: 'Yeah, you can do what you like when I'm done'. Two men in Winsford Cheshire filmed each other on their phones each raping and sexually assaulting a woman one after the other. Despite the video footage they then claimed she consented. This is what porn has taught about women and girls – that they always want it, even with strangers and even filmed to be shared. In the same week as Emery’s case has gone to court it has been reported that a 14 year-old girl in Belgium has been gang-raped by teenagers with her ‘boyfriend’ lending her out for repeated sexual assault. For his friends to ‘have a go’. The ‘boys allegedly filmed the assault and distributed it among other friends’ on social media. Similar to the Emery case, the sexual violation of girls and women appears to be something some boys and men share with their friends now. In our culture it is a boast, a laughing emoji.

Another case in January 2024 Sicily bears marked similarities, apart from the boyfriend was beaten and forced to watch the gang-rape rather than being the instigator. In this incident ‘a 13-year-old girl was gang-raped by seven thugs in a public toilets, as the monsters forced her boyfriend to watch in a horrific attack’. These gang-rapes and the filming of the attacks to share with other males and for fun remind me of what one of the Palermo gang-rapists said discussing the rape the next day with his friend, that ‘meat is meat’.

The Palermo rapists make the link between their actions and the consumption of pornography better than any feminist could. One of the suspects Angelo Flores recorded the attack with his cell phone and ‘recounted [the next day] the “good night” in a shivering message to a friend: “The disgust comes to me, because we were, I swear 100 dogs over a cat, one thing of this I had only seen in porn videos. We were too many. Honestly I was disgusted a little but what was I supposed to do? Meat is meat”. What he is describing, his ‘good night’, is the night of the 6-7 July 2023 when they bribed a bar man to get a 19-year-old lone woman drunk, gave her cannabis, then the 7 of them carried her to a warehouse/construction site and gang-raped her. The messages were intercepted by the investigators who had bugged their phones. They described how they left her: ‘Afterwards she also felt bad: she touched herself down there bent on the ground… ‘Call an ambulance’, […] we left it there and went away…’ where the gang then shared food.

If images and videos had no impact on human behaviour why is the global ad industry in 2023 estimated to be worth $874.47 billion? As of the 16th May 2024 the category ‘gang-bang’ on Pornhub has 13,304 videos. It is not niche. Look at the viewing figures on some of the videos. ‘Lana Rhoades First Gangbang- Fucked Hard in All Holes’ – 60.3 million views, ‘Riley Reid Airtight IR Gangbang’ - 24.5 million views. The porn term “airtight” means ‘the simultaneous penetration of a woman's vagina, anus and mouth’ by different men. ‘BLACKED RAW - All she wanted was to be passed around by 4 black guys’ - 18.5 million views, ‘20 Men, 1 Innocent Teen (18+) - Outdoor Gang Bang (Uncensored)’ – 16.7 million views, ‘Four guys Double anal Triple Penetration’ – 7.5 million views, ‘XXX Gangbang Rough & Rowdy DP/TP Compilation PMV - Go Home & Get High’– 15.2 million views. The porn terms ‘double’ and ‘triple penetration’ refers to where a woman is penetrated by multiple men’s penises at the same time in different combinations such as one in the mouth while one is in the vagina, or two or three penises in either the vagina or anus at the same time. The multiple penises in the same orifice at the same time is an act of extreme sexual violence which will leave long-term health effects, particularly if done to a woman’s anus. The film when then show the woman’s stretched, gaping and red anus like a ‘look what we did to her’.


It is an activity growing in popularity on porn sites. The Metro UK produced an article in January 2024 entitled ‘This hardcore sex trend is rising in 2024 — and will bring double the fun to the bedroom’ and informed its readers that ‘From toys, to new positions, experimenting with sex helps you find out what really gets you going’. Gigi Engle, a sexoligist who describes the penetration of ‘vulva owners’, lets slip that ‘if the dynamic is two men penetrating a woman, the woman may be uncomfortable or frightened about advocating for themselves’, and it is appealing where ‘power play’ (usually sexual domination of a woman) is enjoyed. Gigi also lets slip that ‘the increase in curiosity about DP is likely due to it’s popularity in porn’. Old news Gigi. In fact Refinery29 and Vice have made the porn link and have been trying to push this porn act into bedrooms for at least 5-years.

Refinery29 stated in 2020 that ‘if you’ve ever browsed a porn site, odds are you’ve seen at least one double penetration video. This position typically involves a cis woman being penetrated by two partners at the same time — one vaginally and one anally. Pornhub confirms… that the double penetration category is the 34th most popular out of over 100 categories on site, and interest has grown 4% since last year’. The Refinery29 article continues:

Double penetration (DP) videos weren’t always this common. In an article on the economics of porn published by the New Statesman in 2015, writer and porn performer Stoya explained that in the late 2000s, DP videos were rare, so she was able to negotiate a high rate for her first one. “Being penetrated by two male-bodied people at the same time, one in the anus and one in the vagina, certainly seemed to carry a higher risk of mechanical trauma,” she wrote. “Double penetration scenes were rare, as were performers willing to be the receptive partner in them, and rarity tends to add value in any market.”

Similarly, in an interview with sex education resource Scarleteen, porn performer Lorelei Lee explained that she and other performers see double penetration as similar to an “extreme” sport, in which they “push our bodies in an athletic sense.”
Vice also released an article entitled ‘Everything You Wanted to Know About Double Penetration: A step-by-step sex guide to mastering the art of accommodation in more ways than one’. I wonder if a guide like this was given to the 19-year-old American woman who was gang-raped in Scilly by 3 men who all filmed the attack in 2019? The author, Arman Khan, begins the Vice article quoting ‘An innocent Swedish proverb goes: “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow” and applying it to men’s group use of a woman’s body. Has the world gone mad?

Modern Holiday Snaps: Banana Boats, Sun Burn & Gang Rape

The ‘holiday with the lads’, that first taste of youthful freedom abroad, has changed in recent years as boys and men of all ages and nationalities seem to be bonding over gang-raping young women. The problem is so wide-spread that I have decided to focus on just one holiday island – Mallorca – and only group-rapes since 2023. In June 2023 a young German woman claimed that 6 German young men raped her one after the other in a hotel room in Playa-de-Palma while others watched. In July 2023 two Irishmen were arrested on suspicion of raping a young British tourist together in a hotel in Magaluf. A couple of weeks later on the 14th August 2023 an18-year-old British woman was gang-raped by 8 French and Swiss tourists. One of the rapists ‘apparently went out into the corridor when others, who he didn't know, were returning [and] invited them in to have "free sex". Indeed, it was later discovered that prior to the rape the men didn’t all know each other. The rapes and sexual assaults of the 18-year-old woman were filmed by these men on their phones, a local magistrate said the men were heard “enjoying and laughing” on the more than 20 videos. At the same hotel a few weeks later in a separate gang-rape ‘three UK tourists allegedly drugged and gang-raped an 18-year-old British woman’. In April in 2024 a young Brazilian woman accused four Italians of gang-raping her. ‘The victim and one of the suspects engaged in consensual sexual activity on the beach before proceeding to the apartment. However, the situation allegedly escalated during a subsequent sexual encounter inside the property, with the victim reportedly subjected to non-consensual acts. While one suspect engaged in sexual activity with the victim, another allegedly forced her into performing fellatio, and a third engaged in inappropriate touching. The fourth suspect, although not directly involved, was purportedly aware of the situation’. These are the rapes that hit the headlines. The list does not include the undisclosed rapes, it doesn’t include the gang-rapes not picked up by the press. If the problem was the excessive consumption of alcohol, skimpy clothes and too much dancing then surely, we would see an increase in young men being sexually attacked? They are also known to drink to excess and frequent night-clubs while on holiday.


How would society react if there was a significant trend in women going around and filming their degradation of men, sexual attacks on men, inviting other women to ‘have a go’ and sharing footage of it with their friends? What questions would be asked of our culture? Would we launch an inquiry into ‘porn in the pocket’ and how giving children unlimited access to the internet through a smart phone – at age 9 44% of children own a smartphone and at age 11 this rises to 91%, is near 100% by age 14 – has had a devastating impact? Pornography is normalising this behaviour while magazines, music and current ‘diverse and inclusive’ sex education classes are creating a situation of totally objectified women and girls – dehumanised to the status of meat and fuck toy. It has stolen sex, pleasure and intimacy from a generation and is a public health crisis. Boys and young men find pain and torture just a laugh with their mates. The radical feminist Amia Srinivasan talks about her students growing up in the porn era. How ‘they have come of age sexually in the era of online porn, and they feel disconnected from their own desires, which have been supplanted by the sex they see represented on screen. “The psyches of my students are products of pornography. The warnings of the anti-porn feminists seem to have been belatedly realised: sex for my students is what porn says it is”.


Dr Em is a disabled, feminist, author. She writes under a pseudonym due to threats to her safety. You can find more of her essays at Uncommon Ground Media.

See also:

Yes the problem is porn: A response to Chanel Contos

Why “consent” doesn’t stand a chance against porn culture - ABC Religion and Ethics

Violent porn denies women’s human rights - The Ethics Centre

What's the problem with porn? Collective Shout respond to common pro-porn arguments

There's no such thing as "ethical" porn

Porn doesn't liberate women, it teaches them to smile at their abuse

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  • Dr Em
    published this page in News 2024-07-03 22:53:06 +1000

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