Sex with 100 men in 24 hours: Opportunistic men and a young woman’s self-harm

“The common thread is a culture that normalises the objectification of women while shielding the men who exploit it”

A YouTube documentary released last week records the experience of English OnlyFans model Lily Phillips in her quest to have sex with 100 men in a single day.

The documentary, produced by YouTuber Josh Pieters, follows Lily prior to the day as well as in the immediate aftermath of the sexual feat. Smiling weakly and blinking back tears, her eyes red and stinging from so many men ejaculating in them, the frail 23-year-old describes the ordeal as “intense” and leaves the room in tears.

In response to the viral clip extracted from the doco, many viewers dismissed the obvious damage to Lily on the basis that she chose to participate. She chose to be used by these men, they argue, so the harm done to her doesn’t count. The men who took turns using her body in rapid succession get a free pass. We do not believe it is that simple.

One hundred opportunistic men - some flying internationally for between 2-5 minutes with Lily - lined up for the chance to participate in a vulnerable young woman’s extreme act of self-harm.

There are indications that being treated as a receptacle by 100 men she didn’t know was a violation of her body. Lily described symptoms of dissociation – including feeling “robotic” - and only remembering five or six men out of the 100. Whether she “chose” (in porn culture, as we’ve argued for 15 years, this is questionable) to participate or not – harm was done to her.

“I totally, totally love my job”: Selling the fantasy

Lily entered the porn industry while still at university. She “loves” making porn on OnlyFans, she says, and insists she’s “having fun”. But also recounts fielding increasingly disturbing requests from male subscribers for example, to put a bag over her head and suffocate herself. She also finds old male schoolmates and friends of her father’s among her subscribers (her mother is her manager).

Lily admits she feels lonely and worries no one will ever want to marry her, unless they are also in the industry or a man who wants to “lend her out” to other men. She jokes she is “just good for one thing”.

Despite this, Lily told Pieters she was excited to have sex with 100 men in 24 hours and that it was her fantasy - “something [she] had always wanted to do”. (He did not believe her.)

Why would a woman claim to love being used by men to create porn if that is not the case?

First, Lily is selling a product (herself) and the market (male porn consumers/sex buyers) demands the fantasy that women they pay for participate willingly and enthusiastically.

As I wrote in my book Sex Dolls, Robots and Woman Hating: The Case for Resistance, for men who pay for sex acts, the performance of desire by the women is a key part of the appeal:

Research on sex buyers found that many were aware of the physical and psychological harms to women in prostitution (Farley et al., 2011). These men were not under the illusion women enter the sex trade because they love sex. Some had little objection if women they purchased pretended to like them or actively disliked performing required sex acts.

However, the pretence of the prostituted woman’s enjoyment or an “erotic performance [including] willingness to appear sexually satisfied” is a key part of the exchange (Pettinger, 2011). Punters are not paying simply for sexual ‘services’, or even the means of sexual release, but the fantasy of being with a young, sexually appealing woman who acts as though she desires him.

Some punters openly acknowledge the performance as an act, but still enjoy the charade or even expect it:

“I like to feel wanted (even if it’s just a fantasy).”

“Many of my ladies pretend to be quite pleased to see me so it makes the time much more fun.”

“[I want to] f*ck someone who at least pretends to enjoy it.”

“When a punter pays for sex I think it’s reasonable to expect that the lady should act reasonably enthusiastic about it ... it’s reasonable to expect her to behave as if she wants to be there.”

But as feminist writer Julie Bindel points out, “No woman has a fantasy to end up with the type of injuries that will occur from such extreme activities as having sex with multiple men.”

“You tell yourself what you need to hear to get through the day”

Lily’s claim to enjoy and be “empowered” by men’s sexual use and abuse is not uncommon among women currently in the industry. Upon leaving and with some distance, however – much like survivors of domestic abuse – many women understand their experiences differently.

Some report that while they were in the industry, they needed to believe it was their choice to enter the industry, and within their control. At the time, they insisted they chose it and were empowered by it because they could not have continued had they acknowledged how deeply they were being harmed. (Read the accounts of sex trade survivors in Prostitution Narratives: Stories of Survival in the Sex Trade, co-edited by Movement Director Melinda Tankard Reist and Caroline Norma).

Others rationalised they had already been harmed so much that they may as well stick around a bit longer and make more money.

In a speech, author and sex trade survivor Rose Hunter explained:

When I was in the industry I did not go so far as to think of myself as a happy hooker—although, as mentioned, I often pretended to be one. However, if you’d asked me back then how I really felt about what I was doing, I would have said it was fine; it was good enough for me. A lot of people who are being abused every day will say something similar. It’s often only years later you can see how bad a situation was. At the time, you’re in survival mode, and you tell yourself what you need to hear to get through the day … How can a woman who is in the sex industry properly criticise the industry—when she is still dependent on it for her next rent payment?

We’ve also shared stories from women on OnlyFans who intended to post lingerie photos only, not pornography, and over time escalated to increasingly hardcore, violent and degrading content to keep male subscribers.

Former OnlyFans recruiter Victoria Sinis also wrote in a piece published by us here that once they’d lured a girl in, she was then pressured to violate her boundaries and do more and more degrading acts to attract more subscribers and compete in an overcrowded market.

For OnlyFans models with as big a profile as Lily, there could be additional pressure to make it work. Women known for selling porn on OnlyFans may fear they have already ruined any other career prospects and feel pressure to continue – which means digging in their heels and proclaiming they love it even as they are being harmed.

Why women ‘choose’ to enter the sex industry

The commercial sexual exploitation of women in prostitution or for pornography is the abuse of women by men. It is destructive to women, whether women ‘choose’ it or not.

There are a number of reasons why women might ‘choose’ to enter the porn industry. We know that a significant number of these women are vulnerable, with histories of childhood sexual abuse, and that some ‘choose’ it from very limited options. Others are groomed by porn-culture which teaches women and girls that participating in your own objectification is “empowering” or a glamorous, lucrative career choice. (For evidence, see our report Side Hustles and Sexual Exploitation - co published by the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women Australia - which documented how Australian media outlets actively promote prostitution as a viable career option for young women.)

Many women do not choose to do porn in any meaningful sense, because they ‘choose’ it out of financial desperation, or they ‘choose’ it with no idea what they are in for and how much damage and trauma they will experience as a result.

But perhaps more importantly, all the discussion about women’s supposed choices obscures the reality of men’s choices - to participate in, profit from and consume the abuse and destruction of women for their own enjoyment or gain.

Let’s talk about men’s choices

Largely missing from the conversation is the role of the men who lined up to ejaculate in and on Lily’s body. One spent £800 coming all the way from Switzerland to take part in a few minutes of filmed sex.

As Domestic Abuse Campaigner David Challen wrote,

The real issue was never Lily Phillips, the woman at the centre of this. It’s the men who participate, consume, and profit from this.

Many have asked why a woman would do this while avoiding the responsibility for the culture they have helped create. And now many are now speculating as to the mental health of Lily, but still refusing to look at the platforms like OnlyFans who created this culture and profit from its ‘creators’...

[As with the men in the Pelicot case] these aren’t nameless, faceless monsters; they are "ordinary" men from all walks of life who justify their actions, deflect accountability, and rely on societal narratives that too often shift the focus onto the women involved. What drives so many to step forward, unhesitating, to participate in harm? And why is our outrage so rarely directed at them?

It's easy to focus on Lily, viewing her as the protagonist of her own objectification. However, in doing so, we miss the larger, more complex issues: the commodification of women’s bodies, the men who control platforms like OnlyFans and fuel the pornification of women, and the toxic demand that drives their exploitation.

When we focus solely on the ‘choices’ of women to engage in destructive practices – including those that risk disabling them for life – we do so at the expense of holding male abusers accountable. The men who used Lily’s body put their own sexual gratification before a woman’s life.

In defending their abuse as Lily’s choice, we allow men’s violence and abuse of women to go unchallenged. We refuse to do that.

Side Hustles and Sexual Exploitation

Prostitution Narratives: Stories of Survival in the Sex Trade - Spinifex Press