To accept this argument would be to believe that stalking, possessiveness, manipulation, jealousy, control and other elements of intimate partner violence are based in love - that abusive men hurt their female partners because they "love them so much."
Perpetrators themselves like to say they acted out of love, but this is false. The behaviours perpetrated by Christian Grey meet the criteria for intimate partner violence as outlined by the World Health Organisation:
Forms of Intimate Partner Violence
IPV refers to any behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship. Examples of types of behaviour are listed below.
Acts of physical violence, such as slapping, hitting, kicking and beating.
Sexual violence, including forced sexual intercourse and other forms of sexualcoercion.
Emotional (psychological) abuse, such as insults, belittling, constant humiliation,
intimidation (e.g. destroying things), threats of harm, threats to take away children.
Controlling behaviours, including isolating a person from family and friends; monitoring their movements; and restricting access to financial resources, employment, education or medical care. Source.